In my late teens I regularly helped my closest friend through family crisis. His parents had broken up and his Mum spiraled into a deep dark mental illness which led her to attempt to take her life a few times over. Despite all her efforts she failed on each occasion but battled through mental illness all her life and the sadness she struggled through was heartbreaking. I remember her once telling me, despite the love of her family, she felt very much alone.
I have had my moments of tough days and sadness –being diagnosed with diabetes; the sudden death of my sister at the age of 39; my Mum’s passing after a long battle with cancer; some tough periods at work. Like most people, I have got through each of these life experiences and moved forward. I think I know why. I’m a genuinely happy person who is so thankful for being someone that feels loved and cared for. I have a wonderful family, a great wife and four incredible children all of whom I love and I know they love me too. I am blessed with incredible friends and colleagues who work with me. We have fun and joy in creating something meaningful together. We laugh a lot and enjoy each others’ company. On my travels both here and around the globe, I have friends and family who I am happy to be with. I know that I’ve never been alone for very long. I get up each day happy to be alive. What a life!
I remember reading a report in England a couple of years ago by “The Lonely Society” which connected the link between an increase in mental health issues and the growth of an individualistic society. More prominent in a society that is unequal and where the vulnerable are left further behind and loneliness grows. In 2008 another study in the USA estimated that 20% (60 million people felt lonely). More prominent in a society where we seem to thrive on errors, problems and other people’s misfortune. Many of our most successful TV shows of the last decade have been built on seeing people lose their way, lose the plot and lose their place. As they leave the show’s set, they are the loners, the one’s who have been removed and are irrelevant.
I have met many successful people who on the face of it seem to be fine, yet behind closed doors they go back to empty apartments and listen to a lonely inner voice of sadness and anxiety that affects their ability to live a happy life. Dwelling on problems of the past and predicting a bleak future exacerbates the position and leads to a hopelessness. The loss of someone close or being brought up in a negative environment can initiate such a response. How tough this is.
My environment has always been positive. I’m thankful for my happiness and I wonder what the World will look like when the 80% of us that are genuinely happy will do just a little more to support those that aren’t.
It's a good time in the year to take some time to reflect on what you are grateful for and perhaps look at areas of your life which bring you joy, and those which may be worth fine tuning for general well-being improvement.
Wishing you and your family a happy and safe holiday season.
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